What You Need To Know About Online Dating

By:  Samantha Kabiling | Seasonal Public Relations Intern | Digital4Good

Online dating has become a staple in the modern dating landscape, offering a convenient way for people to connect. With 60 million users in the U.S. alone, it's crucial to understand both the opportunities and challenges these platforms present. Whether you're a seasoned user or new to the scene, this guide will help you navigate online dating safely.

History of Online Dating

The Evolution of Digital Matchmaking

The journey of online dating began much earlier than many realize. Here's a brief timeline of its key developments:

• 1965: Harvard students use an IBM 1401 computer to create the first computer-based matchmaking service in the United States. 
• 1995: Gary Kremen launches the world’s first online dating website, Match.com. 
• 2009: Grindr, the first gay dating application—and one of the first dating apps to use location-based technology—appears on the app store.
• 2012: Well-known dating apps Tinder and Hinge are launched. 
• 2014: Whitney Wolfe Herd develops what she describes as a “feminist” dating app designed for women to make the first move in a heterosexual match.

Since the popularization of online dating platforms, countless apps that target specific demographics or boast unique features like video-first dating have arisen. Some singles will even use platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok to find partners. Digital dating can be found almost anywhere people can communicate with each other online.

Should You Engage in Online Dating?

The Benefits

According to the Pew Research Center, 57% of online daters had a positive experience overall with online dating platforms, the largest benefit being the ease of communication with other users. 

Other positives include affordability, flexibility, and convenience. Not only is it much faster to message someone online than to approach them in person, but dating algorithms also recommend matches based on common interests, tastes, and hobbies, which helps increase the likelihood of finding someone you’re compatible with. 

The Risks

45% of online daters reported feeling more frustrated than hopeful after using these platforms. While the algorithm may connect you with someone you share hobbies with, the other person may have different expectations for a relationship. For instance, a user seeking a serious, long-term commitment might be matched with someone looking for casual, short-term connections. Another con is the possibility of being “ghosted”: engaging someone in conversation, then never hearing from them again after they stop replying to your messages. 

Although these aspects can be frustrating and even hurtful, there are even greater risks for online daters to be vigilant against.

Catfishing is one of the most common dangers of the online dating world. Catfishers use a false online persona to scam or lure people into a relationship. This can be risky for the person being catfished and the person whose images are being used by the catfisher.

Because most dating apps are intended for adults, users generally have more leeway to send explicit content. Consequently, this increases the risk of sexual harassment and sextortion. When online conversations turn into real-life meetups, the danger of sexual violence increases. 

Lastly, location-based dating apps may enable stalking. While the applications themselves won’t necessarily reveal a user’s exact location, stalkers may be able to locate someone using their name, city, and photos alone. 

Safety Tips

When it comes to dating online, it’s better to err on the side of caution. If you choose to download a dating app, follow the pointers below to ensure a safer, more positive experience for yourself.

• Age Requirements: Always check the age requirements of a dating site or app before creating an account. Avoid signing up for age-inappropriate platforms.
• Personal Information: Never give your home address to someone you don’t know. Before uploading photos to your profile (or sending photos to someone), make sure the picture does not contain any identifying information like your apartment number or street name. Even a photo with the exterior of your house in the background can be risky.
• Real Photos: Make sure the photos of the user you’ve connected with are legitimate by conducting a reverse search of their profile pictures. Be wary of AI-generated or edited images. If comfortable, video chat with the user to make sure they are who they claim to be.
• Inappropriate Content: Block and report any user who sends inappropriate messages, makes unwanted advances, or makes you uncomfortable in any way.
• Take Precautions: Before going on a date with someone you met online, notify a friend, family member, or someone you trust. Tell them who you’re meeting with, where, and how long you plan to be out. Share your location with them if you can. If you download any safety apps or purchase safety equipment, make sure you test them out before the day of the date so you are familiar with how they work and how to use them properly.
• Stay Vigilant: Always meet up at a public location. If you don’t have a car, avoid catching a ride with the person you’re meeting; instead, take public transportation or ask a friend to drop you off at the meeting location. If you at any point feel unsafe, don’t be afraid to cut the date short, ask a loved one to pick you up, or call authorities if necessary.

Remember, your safety should always come first. If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be interacting with a scammer or predator, Digital4Good has created a step-by-step Sextortion Defense guide to help you get the support you need. Click here to download the guide for free.