Stop Bullying: An Overview to Handling Bullying Online and In-Person

School bullying can take many forms, from verbal abuse to physical violence. How can you deal with instances of bullying at school? Before we take on a few scenarios and how to take action, let’s define some key terms: 

Bullying: A form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying includes (but isn’t limited to) the following actions: beating, tearing clothes, swearing, intimidation, destroying belongings, or commenting negatively on the internet.

Bully: A person who initiates bullying and may encourage others to do so as well.

Victim: A student who is repeatedly bullied. 

Supporter: They do not initiate the bullying themselves but may participate. Supporters can serve as an audience for the bully, encouraging them and laughing at their actions.

Defender: The one who stands by the victim, tells the adults about the bullying, and tries to stop it.

Bystander: Someone who turns away when bullying starts and does not tell adults about the bullying nor attempt to support the victim. This lack of action unintentionally supports bullying.

Talking about bullying is very difficult for children, even if parents establish good relationships that allow them to talk about their bad feelings. Children may hide their exposure to bullying for the following reasons:

• Fear of increased acts of bullying as a result of telling
• Fear of not being believed and not being taken seriously.
• Fear that people will start looking at them for the reasons why bullying is happening.
• Feeling ashamed and inferior as a result of being bullied.

If you suspect your child is being bullied

Contact the student's teacher or school principal and ask him to coordinate a meeting that one or both will attend in addition to the bullies and their parents. You should first discuss the matter with the teacher or principal. If the bullying is happening outside of school, consider talking to the bully’s parents. During the meeting, you should articulate the harmful effects of this treatment on your child.

As a last resort, you can contact the police to ensure your child’s safety at school. 

I’m being bullied at school

Reach out to a trusted adult as soon as possible: stopping the abuse as quickly as possible is not the task of teachers alone but also the task of the school principal, staff, and parents. You have a right to stand up for yourself, and by speaking up now, you could save many future students from being hurt by your bully. 

I see my friend being treated badly, what should I do?

Tell your friend that they are not alone and that you stand with them. Along with providing support, you can advocate for your friend by telling trusted adults about the bullying. You can also speak to the bully and ask them to stop bullying your friend.

My child bullies others; what do I do?

If a teacher or parent of another student tells you your child is bullying another child, you may become confused and find it hard to believe. After talking to your child to verify and get more information about their behavior, prioritize supporting the victim along with your child by seeking counseling or other forms of mental health help. Re-evaluate the influences in your child’s life; perhaps they are being exposed to upsetting content at school or online, which causes them to lash out and bully others. 

Whether you’ve experienced bullying in the past, present, or simply want to know how to address it going forward, ask your school about enrolling in #ICanHelp’s Digital Citizenship Student Curriculum. Help us build a community of good digital citizens to promote kindness and positivity.